My love
While everyone has decided to buy flowers or chocolate or dinner for their loved ones, I being a brilliant lawyer have decided to differ from that precedent and go old school by writing you a love letter.
Just like the decision of Lord Penzace in Hyde v Hyde, wherein he stated that ‘…is a union between a man and a woman’, my love for you shall not be shared with another nor deviate from that decision. Be rest assured Article 33 of the Constitution of the Republic of Uganda buttresses this point and if I ever get another, that affair will be null and void as provided under Article 2(2) of the same Constitution for being inconsistent with my love for you.
So take notice on this 14th day of February the year 2013, I declare my undying love for you shall reign supreme above all else like the Constitution. On this day henceforthwith, let it be known by all parties concerned that I intend to surrender all my bachelor rights to you and spend the rest of my life with you. Divorce between us shall never be an option as I shall not give you any ground to divorce as required by the Divorce Act. There shall also be no need for a Prenuptial Agreement as I intend to follow the decision in Habyarimana v Habyarimana in which marital property was held to be all property acquired before and during the subsistence of the marriage. Therefore, My love, what is mine is yours. It was further held in that case (ibid) that such property upon divorce is to be shared equally. The aforesaid notwithstanding, there shall be no divorce as already stated for my love for you will be binding like Supreme Court decisions.
Your beauty knows no other and is highly appreciated like the decisions of Lord Dennings. I remember the first time I saw. “I must say… “, I said to myself that “…rarely have I come across such a mass of obscurity yet so true like a sworn affidavit. I cannot conceive how I, an ordinary person, can be so much obliged and blessed with your grace and beauty.” I remember the day you accepted my offer to be your legal spouse before we consummated our love. I said to myself. “For her to reach a conclusion on this matter must have involved her in wading through a monstrous of legislative love morass, staggering from stone to stone and ignoring the marsh laughter exhaling from the forest of provisions.” I regarded it at one time, I must confess, as a slough of despond through which you would never drag your feet, but u did, by leaping from tussock to tussock as best as you did, eventually, pale and exhausted, reached the other side where you found me and made no counter offer but submitted to my jurisdiction.
You are my rob, my black’s law dictionary, my ulii, my reference, a footnote of my everyday thought. You are my authority and there is no counter-claim. Neither an appeal. You are my Article 2 (1) Supreme above all else but most importantly, you are my Article 1 (1) power lies with you and to that end, the Public Holidays Act shall be amended to include this day. Happy Valentine’s Day.
Much Obliged
Love stoned Senior Counsel
MR. HARE; The Modern Tales 
This is my best ever.